so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
