i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
A+ Viking dick
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
