accomplished twins. life is a go
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
