We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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