hotel room ftw
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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