Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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