smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
you didnt know i had herpes?
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
