I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
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