It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
