Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
You were trust falling into bushes
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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