You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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