Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
