sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
