I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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