I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
only if we run a train.
done.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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