I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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