Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
