I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
