You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
