Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Randomize
