Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
