turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Randomize
