I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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