we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
