me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
he told me I talked like a deaf person
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize