So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
