I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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