tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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