I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize
