My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
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