i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
