I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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