On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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