Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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