Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize