and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
