he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
