This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
It's blow job season.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
