I wanna passion pit in your ass
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
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