Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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