yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
