Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
