Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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