I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
