I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Randomize