I molested 6 butterflies tonight
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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