I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
