dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
