I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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