the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
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