Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
