So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
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