Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
