She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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