I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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